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Parenting Guide - The Islam Way

Assalamuaaikum

Children are a trust bestowed upon parents and they will be held accountable for this trust on the Day of Judgement. In Islam, parents are responsible for the basic and essential knowledge of the Deen. They are also responsible for the ethical and moral conducts of their children. If parents can fulfill this responsibility, God Willing, their children will become better human beings and the parents will be free of consequences on Judgement Day, Insyaallah.

And those who believed and whose descendants followed them in faith - We will join with them their descendants, and We will not deprive them of anything of their deeds. Every person, for what he earned, is retained. Surah At-Tur (The Mount) 52:21

The ultimate responsibility of every parent is to educate his child in the best way possible. Parents are responsible to shape their children's mindsets. Do it whilst their minds can be easily moulded, do not wait until it is too late.

The Islamic Parenting Guide
Acknowledge your children's positive acts and be quick to appreciate them, even for a small act.

Express affection for your children.

Provide them with role models to follow and Prophet Muhammad is the best of example. Parents need to be exemplary because children learn from you first.

Avoid repeated punishments as Islam discourages beating up children. When it becomes necessary, ensure to not hit the face and to not cause marks, cuts and bruises.

Be gentle and reason rather than just scolding lest your children become rebellious.

Help them stay away from negative influences from the television, internet and society.

Make Dua (Supplication), which is a core basis of Islamic Parenting. Ultimately, only Allah decides to privilege you by leading your children on the right path.

Parents' Rights To Respect
The parents’ rights to respect from their children is dependent upon the children’s rights to loving care and guidance of their parents. In a Hadith narration,

A man once came to Umar ibn Al-Khattab (Islam's second Caliph) with complaints of his sons’ disobedience to the man. Umar (ra) summoned the boy and spoke of his disobedience to the father and his neglect of the father's rights.

The boy replied, 'O Amir ul Mukminin (Prince of believers)! Has not a child rights over his father?'
'Certainly', replied Umar (ra).
'What are they, Amir ul Mukminin?'
'He should choose the mother and give the son a good name and teach him the Book (Quran)'.
'O Amir ul Mukminin! My father did nothing of this. My mother was a Magian (fire worshipper). He named me Julalaan (which means scrarab or dung beetle) and he did not teach me a single letter of the Quran'.
Turning to the father Umar said, 'You have come to me complaining about your son's disobedience. You have failed in your duty to him before he has failed in his duty to you. You have done wrong to him before he has wronged you'.

Education and Nurturing In Islam
To nurture children is to educate them to develop the Islamic worldview and virtues. To educate them is to help them grow and prosper.

Educating includes taking care of and showing sensitivity towards your children's emotional and physical needs and capacities. It also implies your courage to allow and promote creativity and your ability to inspire confidence. You should be able to trust and not to stifle and at the same time being firm and not be afraid to discipline and impose restrictions.

A Hadith narrated by Abu Salmah said that Abu Hurayrah said:

The Prophet of Allah (pbuh) kissed his grandson Hasan ibn Ali while Aqra ibn Habis was sitting nearby. Aqra said: I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.
The Prophet (pbuh) looked at Aqra and said: Those who show no mercy will be shown no mercy.
Children take their parents as role models and will think whatever their parents do as norms and acceptable behaviour.

Characteristics To Be Nurtured

1) Honest and Truthful
2) Gentle and Polite
3) Helpful and Considerate
4) Clean and Tidy
5) God-fearing

What Gives More Joy To Parenting

1) Ensuring that your children develop a love for Allah and the Deen.
2) Making them realise the benefits of Islam.
3) Experiencing and experimenting various parenting techniques within the boundaries of Islam.

Your Opinion Matters
What are your views on parenting?
How different will your Parenting Guide be?

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